Jennifer Lopez’s friends claim singer tried to salvage failed relationship — but Ben Affleck ‘has a darkness to him’
No one in the Western hemisphere was shocked when Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce from Ben Affleck this week, after months of torrid speculation.
But it’s not for a lack of J. Lo trying to make the marriage work.
Friends had long told Page Six that the singer and actress harbored dreams she could salvage the relationship, even though the couple had been living apart for months.
“She loves him, she will always love him, that’s the problem,” one pal told us.
Friends desperately hoped that Affleck would join Lopez in the Hamptons for her 55th birthday last month, which she celebrated with friends and family at a “Bridgerton”-themed bash, but the Oscar winner never showed.
Instead, over the past few months, we’re told that the Affleck has been spotted at Hollywood haunts including the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel, where sources told us he was seen hanging out with friend Kick Kennedy, the 36-year-old daughter of failed presidential hopeful Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Page Six has reached out to reps for Lopez, Affleck and Kennedy.
In the end, Lopez filed for divorce on the second anniversary of the couple’s lavish wedding ceremony at Affleck’s estate in Georgia, Atlanta. She has asked to remove Affleck from her last name.
“She truly believed this was the greatest love story she’d ever known and she was finally getting her chance at the fairy tale,” said one Hollywood source who knows the couple. “She just really didn’t stop to consider who the actual man was [in] the fairy tale.”
The source added that the kind of “big love Jennifer believes in” is “not in [Ben’s] DNA” — adding, “Ben has a darkness to him that no other person can fix. [His actress ex-wife] Jen Garner couldn’t fix it, all the success in the world couldn’t fix it.
“[Lopez] gave this everything she had; her whole heart. She would have done anything to make this work. She opened herself up to criticism, ridicule and countless naysayers who told her this was a bad idea, that it was doomed, that there was a reason it didn’t work the first time,” the source said. “But she didn’t want to believe it— she truly believed love would conquer all.”
Affleck swept back into Lopez’ life just weeks after she split from her onetime fiancé Alex Rodriguez in April 2021.
The two first met in 2002 on the set of their movie “Gigli,” when Lopez was married to her second husband, Cris Judd. After she divorced him in 2003, she and Affleck soon went public with their romance.
As Lopez told People in 2016, “I really felt like when I met Ben, ‘Okay, this is it.”
At the height of America’s obsession with “Bennifer” 1.0, Affleck even starred in the video for his girlfriend’s song “Jenny from the Block” — but he later admitted regretting it.
Just days before they were set to be married on Sept. 14, 2003, the couple postponed, then announced their break-up four months later.
“Our relationship crumbled under the weight of the pressure,” Lopez told Variety in February, “We lost a sense of ourselves, and we needed to separate because we didn’t know how to survive it. I had to figure myself out, and he had to figure himself out.”
Lopez went on to wed singer Marc Anthony in 2004 and have twins, Max and Emme, now 16, before divorcing a decade later. Affleck married Jennifer Garner in 2005 and have three children. But after their 2018 split, Garner publicly confirmed her ex’s dark side.
“He’s just a complicated guy,” the actress told Vanity Fair. “I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.”
The Hollywood source told Page Six Garner is right.
“The thing is, Ben doesn’t dislike this side of himself — the side that needs solitude, that doesn’t believe anyone could ever truly understand him, that is convinced he is his only ally and the only person he can count on,” said the Hollywood source,
“He is proud of the fact that he always has and always will take care of himself. He is proud to be his children’s protector and provider. But he has never— and seemingly will never— give himself over completely to another person.
“The kind of big love Jennifer believes in, that sort of all-consuming devotion? Ben played along for a while and wanted to be part of it, but it’s just not who he is.”
As Lopez spent the summer being photographed summer solo in Italy and the Hamptons, another source said that Affleck wanted to keep the spotlight on his wife and ensure it appeared that she was empowered and “happy and healthy” before they finally called it quits.
Lopez has come under fire for flaunting her love story with Affleck in her two films: the documentary “The Greatest Love Story Never Told” and the rather scripted movie “This is Me … Now,” which she financed herself to the tune of $20 million. Both were released alongside her first studio album in 10 years, “This is Me … Now,” a sequel to 2002’s “This is Me …Then.”
In the doc, Jane Fonda told her, “I want you to know that I don’t entirely know why, but I feel invested in you and Ben, and I really want this to work. However, this is my concern. Like, it feels too much like you’re trying to prove something instead of just living it. You know, every other photograph is the two of you kissing and the two of you hugging.”
As Page Six revealed, Affleck was “freaked out” by the amount of paparazzi following them on their Paris honeymoon.
Sources said that while Lopez, who now has four failed marriages under her belt, seemed to be leading the charge in making the films, Affleck’s production company Artists Equity actually financed and made the documentary.
At one point in the doc, the star was clearly taken aback when he realized his wife was sharing his old love letters with songwriters as inspiration for her new album.
“‘Things that are private I always felt are sacred and special because, in part, they’re private,” he says in the film.
A Hollywood insider who has known Lopez for decades told Page Six: “Jennifer can be so thirsty for attention. She could not step out of the limelight even for an instant. Everything has to be photographed and put on Instagram.
“My heart does feel bad for her. I think Ben did love her,” the insider added. “She’s stable, she doesn’t drink, she doesn’t smoke, their kids got along … but she blew it with having to be ‘J. Lo.’”
There was friction as well between Affleck and Lopez’s longtime manager, Benny Medina, the Hollywood insider confirmed: “Benny has a stronghold on Jennifer’s life. She needs to take back her life and stop letting others run it for her.”
Next month, Lopez will promote her new movie, “Unstoppable,” in which she plays a supporting role, at the Toronto International Film Festival. Affleck is a producer, but he will not be there.
